If you are in the consulting game, then you have probably met a lot of people with different personality traits. Some you would have gotten along with easily, while others may have been a pain and you could not wait till the project was over.

In this post we will look at the five horror clients most Pakistani consultants have to deal with.

1. The Gora Wannabe

This guy knows everything going on in western pop culture and wants to emulate the same for his website. He throws around words like SWAG and YOLO to show that he is attuned to the youth segment.

When you ask him to explain his business model and what he is looking for you get a long diatribe with clichéd sentences which leave you more confused than before.

You: Tell me about your business?

Gora Wannabe: Dude like I’m looking to target the youth you know.

You: Yeah Ok.. But what do you want the site to convey?

Gora Wannabe: Bro I have the SWAG. Been living it up in the UK for five years now I gotta get me a site that is the Kanye West of websites to sell bracelets.

You: Yeezus

2. The Rotu

You would think you have the client of your dreams when you first meet The Rotu. He will come to you with a plan and details of everything he wants done. This is a ruse as you would later find out. After providing him with the recommendations and details of what needs to be done to achieve his goals, the Rotu will have a breakdown. He will start calling you at late hours over trivial details, will start changing his requirements at the last moment and nothing you say or do will ever convince him that the changes are needed.

The Rotu: The final logo you sent does not work. You showed it to me but the final iteration logo.ai doesn’t work. What kind of work is this?

You: Is it not opening in Adobe Illustrator?

The Rotu: What’s that?

You: You need Adobe Illustrator to view the hi-res logo

The Rotu: Ohh bhai I spent Rs. 300,000 on this Mac. The file is corrupt.

You: You need buy illustrator to use it and it will work. I have it opened in front of me.

The Rotu: Ab yeh bhi mei buy kerun?

You: *facepalm* I’ll just send you a PNG.

3. The Seth

Everyone has worked with a Seth at some point in their career. In Pakistan it is hard not to. Like all Seths he has never had anyone say No to him or his ideas. When you are hired he will try to downplay your work and make you feel insecure about your skills in order to reduce your prices. Another issue that comes up with the Seth are the people directly reporting to him. They are even worse and would try to undermine you at every opportunity in order to get noticed by the Seth.

The Seth: I want to be Facebook of Pakistan

You: Sir your products are copies from China

The Seth: Mujhe Facebook ban naa hai

You: Sir Facebook is a social media platform. Your business is e-Commerce.

The Seth: FACEBOOK BAN NAA HAI!!!

You: Ok Ok. I’ll see what I can do.

4. The Abbu Type

Not to discount the Father-Son relationship, the Abbu Type guy is the embodiment of a disappointed dad. Anything you do no matter how creative or how original it will never satisfy the Abbu Type. He will always bring up irrelevant comparisons with brand websites that have nothing to do with his model.

You: So did you like the design concepts I sent.

The Abbu Type: Didn’t like them, you should look at what Nike did

You: Ok I’ll look into that. Anyway did you like the birthday gift basket I sent to you?

The Abbu: No I hate chocolates, my brother’s son’s daughter sent me a better gift you should learn from that.

5. The Matlabi

Stay away from this type. He is toxic and is only looking to use you for your skills before dumping you for the next thing in his view. This guy you may have met during a workshop where you just exchanged a few pleasantries. However, now he wants a job done and he will meet with you like you were his best friend. He will call and harass you for work but when it comes to payment he will run faster than road runner.

Before Project:

The Matlabi: Bro where have you been. Long time no see. I need help with a new website for my business and you are the best one for the job.

After Project:

You: The project is done. Can you please transfer my payment?

The Matlabi: Who is this?